My CoDriver

Sometime next week, ToolMan and I will have been married for ten (10) years. Happily!

A few weeks ago we had a discussion about the patronizing things people say to one another, especially spouse to spouse, parent to child. Though we are not perfect, we both make conscious efforts to not make those kind of comments, and that effort was the main focus of our discussion. But at one point in our conversation, I could not resist any longer.

Grinning I asked him "Do you want to know what the most patronizing thing that you have ever said to me was?"

As a man who has been married for almost ten years he appropriately answered with slight hesitation "Sure. What is it?"

"If you are going to slide the tires, make sure that you have both hands on the wheel."

This was in response to a Carlos Sainz like move I made getting on our bypass bridge back in February.

What any other spouse would have said back in February in the context of our situation:

• What did you just do?!
  
• What was that noise?
  
• Stop the car!
  
• The baby is in the backseat!!
  
• The baby is ASLEEP in the backseat!!!
  
• Are you trying to kill us?
  
• That's it, I'll drive.
  
• Are you practicing for a rally car driving position? Am I your co-driver?
  

But no, ToolMan did not question my need to do this, or even ask why I was trying to slide the car in the corner. He was just concerned about proper technique.

Recently, when I asked him why my tires make so much noise in the traffic circle or at certain intersections, he said "Most people would go slower." When I said that neither of my previous cars did this and I think I drive the same, he pointed out that "most people in your kind of car don't drive the way you do."

Should Vegas start making odds on when CRB is getting downsized to a MINI? No, that would be a waste of the odds-makers' time. How on earth could I even take him to the pool - we need to have a stroller? How could we get to Aunt Kerri's 8 miles away with all the stuff we need? What if (a HUGE, almost out of the question if, but my jury's still out) CRB gets a sibling in the next few years? Nope. No MINI. Ask again later. Much, much later.

Yesterday, coming home from a quick shopping trip south of town a crazy lady pulled sharply and suddenly into my lane. I broke hard engaging the anti-lock brakes, checked in the rearview and swerved a tad into the next lane. I asked ToolMan "How'd I do?" expecting great praise. He said, "Well, I would not have taken that other hand off the wheel to blow the horn." You know, he's right, the horn blowing was extraneous.

I can think of many times when I have been in the car with him driving and he has avoided accidents with his good judgment and quick reflexes both. In the coming week, our state is planning a zero tolerance campaign related to speeding. There will be no grace miles over or warning tickets. A few of our friends have said that maybe ToolMan might not ought to drive that week. I disagree, but I might need a new line item in the budget for "traffic tax" as he calls it.

Speaking of rally cars and safety, after much consideration, we just ordered CRB's new car seat. We plan to move him to that one around the beginning of September.

DISCLAIMER: Gratuitous speeding is not funny. I have 0 points on my license. I go exceptionally slow and I am extraordinarily careful anywhere there might possibly be pets, children or other pedestrians. When I see the police in my neighborhood, I do not have to slow down. I do not run red-lights or take an extended yellow. If the situation permits, I brake for squirrels. I try to drive with extra consideration for motorcyclists and truck drivers. I believe I dislike my SUV because of the disconnect I feel while driving it, but it is a wonderfully nice, posh car, and I am a very lucky woman in so many respects, but please give me some space to still mourn the MINI.